A little outlet not far from my house. I like hanging out here in the summer, but unfortunately it's a popular fishing spot, so it's not unoccupied as often as I'd like.
This morning I woke up at like, 9am or so. At 10 mom and I did a bit of shopping at Kohl's, which was disappointing to say the least. I think I've made so much progress with my weight until I can't even get a size Large skirt over my calves.
I'm actually considering going on a mostly vegetarian diet, not because it'll save the animals (although I do like animals), but because I could really lose weight that way.
Hell. I'd go for a raw diet, but I know there's no way in hell that's possible here. Even being mostly veg is going to be difficult, but goddammit, I have to do something. I'm tired of hating how I look.
Yeah, size shouldn't matter, but do you think I'd say that so much if I were a decent size? No. Fuck no. I mean, yeah, I try not to judge other people by their weight because it's not right, but I hate myself at this size and I'm sick of it. I want to wear all the awesome clothes that I like, but can't wear because I'm so disgustingly obese. Clothes will be cheaper. I won't have to shop in the plus size department. I'm just so sick of being a fucking whale.
I'd like to go full whack and just start on a veg diet, but... I have to ease into this. Starting on Monday, I'm going to only eat meat in one meal a day. As it is I'm on my own for breakfasts and lunches, and sometimes I'm even on my own for dinner. Usually it's just my mom and I eating dinner, because dad works either 2-10 or 3-11. Sometimes we make dinner, sometimes we just scavenge.
I just... want to have a body I like. It's stupid. I saw a body type drawing tutorial on deviantart this morning, and their "fat" body type looked like mine. That's not the sole factor for this, but... I'm tired of looking at a huge disgusting pair of size 20 jeans and thinking "Hey, I'm doing pretty well". No, that's not pretty well.
That's fucking repulsive. You could easily fit a normal sized person's entire body in each leg of ONE pair of my jeans. I'm sick of this crap and I'm going to do something about it.
Tomorrow's theme is "broken", and you will get a brand new piece of art for that, whether it's a drawing or a new picture.
Anyway, I'm off to make some guacamole, so I'll talk to you later.
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